I just had to look up the reason as to why we celebrate this very patriotic holiday. Oh, Fourth of July please forgive me. Maybe if we referred to it as Independence Day, which I assumed was just another holiday; it’d clarify a lot for weak-minded chaps like me. Apparently my C- (lowest grade I’ll “hopefully” ever get in college) in Constitution class didn’t cut it in teaching me to be a true American—if only I had done the effort to get a C+, then I would’ve probably woken up this morning with all understanding of why we have cookouts and blow things up over-head. I should’ve just known by making arts & crafts in third grade, but we won’t discuss the “common” knowledge that I’m terrible at obtaining.
I was going to find some reasons as to why America is the greatest nation on earth and put them in here, possibly rip them to pieces in their fallacies, but I couldn’t find any. Everything on the internet under the topic is sarcasm, songs, and recipes for white gravy, which I’m content not reading.
Everyone enjoy your holiday, and I hope it’s not raining where you are too. Sort of ruins the purpose behind a pool and damages the value of a yard, but we shall trudge through—ya know why? For the god damn Red White and Blue—god bless America.
I was really hoping that Microsoft Word would suggest that I capitalize god.
Everyone have a nice 4th,
Michael
